Hopelessly Devoted to.....

2017 was full of blessings, and wonderful moments. It was also hard.

I'm beginning to understand why older people stay in their homes longer than they should - moving is tough on so many levels and we were crazy enough to do so twice this past year.

I also said goodbye to my mom early in the year. As time goes by I often feel like a bystander, watching me process it all. She was lost in the world of Alzheimer's and I wouldn't have wanted to add a single day to that, but what I'm feeling now is the finality of her being gone.

Something my mom and I shared, for so many years, was our love of making resolutions. Call them goals, plans, whatever - we both loved to end the year making big plans for the upcoming one. So resolution making is another thing I won't ever again share with her. (Please tell me we don't need to make resolutions in Heaven!).

At the end of 2016 I had such big plans for the year ahead, and did not accomplish a single one. It wasn't the year for that. Rather, it was more of a 'just keep breathing' kind of year. Not one to be easily discouraged, in my mother's absence, I'm carrying on in a style that would surely have her cheering me on.

I've also chosen a word of the year for the past five or so years, and 2018's is DEVOTE.  For 2018 I hope and plan to devote myself to:

1.  Focusing on my health - strength, flexibility, weight, eating, sleep schedule, and keeping up with routine health care visits. All of these were dismally neglected in 2017.

2.  Set up routines - caring for our home, keeping up with finances and desk work, studying, personal care, regular daily exercise, time away for me, time with family and friends just for fun, and whittling away at projects. Set up these routines, and get them on the calendar.

3.  Soulfood - which entails reading, piano, sewing, knitting, cooking, studying, learning: the goal / resolution is to read 30 or so books in 2018, find someone to give me piano lessons here (already set up in Idaho), and to study several subjects (general science, literature and world politics).

After being the executor for my Mom's health, and her affairs after she died, and having several other people in my life who suffered the lose of someone, I'm sensing a need to refill my own soul, rather than just give out. I'm looking at where I can invest my heart and my time, and where I need to pull back. Life has a natural flow of seasons, and as our family grows and we try to manage the reality of living in two places, 2000 miles apart, if I continue to try to give and give and give, I find myself empty, with nothing to offer to those closest to me, and weary from the trying to do so.

So three goals or resolutions that involve a whole heck of a lot more. I don't think my Mom is up there nodding her head at me, but I do think, if I could call her up and chat, and I shared these with her, she'd heartily approve. Except for the housework and cooking. Never one with a goal of being a domestic goddess, she'd tell me to not fuss over those and concentrate - devote myself to - what really matters.

If you're a resolution maker like me, here's the list of the top ones for 2018. It looks like I chose #1, #2, #9, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #23, and #38.

#17 - not so much.