I'm not a Cosmopolitan kind of girl.

The current issue of Oprah

Do any of you get magazines you don't subscribe to?

I subscribed to a very sweet Cottage-look home magazine a couple of years ago. It was the only magazine I subscribed to.

The owner of the magazine happens to be Hearst Magazine. Much like having one child and something happens, there is only one place to point the finger. As this is the only magazine I subscribed to, I have to assume they are/were the guilty party.

I started receiving four or five magazines on a monthly basis, and was surprised because:

#1 I had never subscribed to any of them.

#2 The mailing label showed I had a three year subscription.

I have been getting these magazines regularly for over two years now. Most of them I would never have subscribed to, and one is an embarrassment to have delivered to my mailbox. Cosmopolitan and Oprah both arrive without fail, month after month, along with the other ones. All are owned by Hearst Magazine Corporation.

I've apparently been added to their subscribership, to boost their numbers. That's why we can all get a one year subscription for about ten bucks.

Have you ever tried to cancel a magazine you don't subscribe to? I'm here to tell you it's impossible. They don't assign you an account number, so you can't reference it. Tricky, tricky.

I've come to realize Hearst Magazine Corporation doesn't really care if they send me the magazines for free. What they want is my number as a subscriber so they can sell their advertising. It's all based on numbers and I'm one, whether I want to be or not.

The cover topics of Cosmopolitan are enough to make one blush, so I keep on throwing it away, wondering how long I'll be stuck receiving it. At my age, I'm not terribly inclined to work on all those things the cover of Cosmo tells me can be perfected. I also cancelled the original Cottage home magazine (not the exact name) so they would stop selling my name and address. So alas, I don't get the magazine I actually wanted to receive, and instead I get a mailbox full of ones I don't want.

Since I'm the recipient of Oprah, and I find it to be only annoying rather than embarrassing, here's a fun thought: Has anyone else noticed that EVERY SINGLE COVER EVER has her on it? Is it just me or does anyone else see this as a bit self-absorbed?

I know there are Oprah fans out there, so please don't blast me, but I'm not one. I don't think Oprah is evil, but I sure don't think she's one whose philosophy on life I'm going to be making my own.

And while we're at it, since she does put her photo on the cover of every single issue, here's something all we mere mortals can relate to. If you'd like to look like Oprah's cover this month, it will only cost you $6,125.00 . That sweater she's wearing is from Saks (who shops at Saks?) and costs $595.00. Her pants are $1,195, a bit different from my Target purchased Danskin yoga pants that ran $14.95. Her earrings were $1,295. Her bracelet and rings are from Tiffany's (my go to jeweler, yours too?) and cost $2,950.00.

I could swing the sneakers, at $90. But they'd come out of our annual clothing budget, which for the two of us is less than the earrings Oprah is wearing. I'd have to like them an awful lot to pay $90, and they better be up to walking Miss Lily 365 days a year.

Interestingly, when my subscription to the magazine I actually subscribed to ran out, they stopped sending it. But Cosmo - it just keeps on keeping on.

Just thinking.....